4.5.05
im afraid to go outside but it would be a good time to run in a field until i fall over. i feel so restless, like there is something inside of me trying to break out. i wont let it. it was like i breathed a sigh of relief when it all happened. i should stop holding my breath over trivial things like that. am i just fooling myself? what's going on. i can't even talk about it like fuck seriously. its anxiety, anxiousness, restlessness, jealousy, exhaustion, and apathy all at the same time. how do you handle something like that? the walls are closing in and i cant stop them.
