10.1.05
epiphany?
green with envy. but envious about what? i dont know for sure right now. but i can feel it. and it boils up every now and then and thise horrible green monster takes my place and attacks. maybe its because everyone seems to be able to reach perfection by just thinking it and i feel like im drowning like i'll never make it up out of the deep end. im sinking. slowly. and i get further from the surface everyday. i am losing sleep over nothing but it seems like everything. these things shouldnt make a difference but they do and thats what it so horrible. right now if there could be one thing that i would do it would be to just stop time. stop time and just sort my self out. myself, my life everything. i dont know what to do next. i feel as though i cant do anything without being told to do so first. and i feel as though im clinging on to the people around me for falso support and that the more i want them there the more they tend to drift away. its like i panic and i can breathe because all thats going in is water.
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