5.8.04
i've discovered that
i have a general repulsion for anything that may turn out favorable for me. haha sometimes i think im cursed. it kind of interesting, cause i can see myself growing up to be an old hag in a shack with a kajillion cats...and i hate cats... with a passion almost as much as i hate myself oh yes indeed. its just so frustrating sometimes. you just wish that you could have just ONE thing just ONE but you can't because no matter how hard you try or how many times you attempt it leads back to nothing. no headway gained. nothing. ionno maybe im just going through a phase or something but sometimes it just seems so hopeless its like having everything but having nothing at all. what a paradox.
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