30.6.04
out of sight, out of mind
haha if only i keep looking in that direction and i know i should stop but its so involuntary and i cant help it -___-;; i should probably get rid of it... like i should get rid of a lot of things... i always say i will but i never do i guess thats oka but when its something stupid like this its just so frustrating! its all just a game of questions...it always goes back and forth from one extremity to another and the answers arenever certain, things wil be great one minute but will plunge the next this is why i try to avoid things like this because only bad things and come from them. i always tell myself that i'll never go back but i always end up turning around and erasing those words from my head i dont know why. sometimes i want to leave this place. this family, this city, this life, and start all over again. i think it'd be so much easier with a clean slate, no mistakes nothing, what i wouldnt give for a permanent case of amesia. itd be awesome to be able to forget all the things that went wrong all the people who walked away, just all the people period. ugh. i hate reality, i hate its restrictions and limits and the pain that it causes, i wish i could live in a movie where there's always a happy ending. right so im going to go wallow in my self pity -___-;;
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