4.11.03
one year older... not much wiser
happy belated birthday to pauline!!! we must find another one of those popcorn machines... those absolutely can NOT be healthy! haha and happy birthday anthony!!! there will be many more excurssions to europa three times in a day =P
so its been a year already hippos... i still feel like im twelve. i disliked being twelve... things changed... changed faster than i could adapt... like species specialization where there's little competition (problems in life) and better chances of surviving (having good times)... until big natural disasters came along, plauges, infestations (change, growth)... and yea i dont think that made any sense... if it did... well... good for you... if it didnt... well.... good for you too
i worry too much... about things that dont concern me, what people think, about things that i shouldnt have to put up with but i do because ive led myself to the stupid things that i have, about my family and how things never seem at ease, about my friends... will they still be my friends in the future? if they will be... will they be good friends?... if not...why?, about finding a career i'll enjoy, about finding a person i can talk to. and with worry comes over thinking, and with over thinking comes confussion... and with confussion comes a shit load more worries.
im going to see him this weekend... its been a while but i think im slowly leaving it behind...
sleeping has become...well... difficult lately... ive always got something running through my head and half the time its something so frustrating that i cant help but just let go and cry my god and majority of the time its something so small, so minute, so horrifically insignificant that, when i look back, i dont see why i make such a big deal out of it. god...i feel like such a retard sometimes.
so its been a year already hippos... i still feel like im twelve. i disliked being twelve... things changed... changed faster than i could adapt... like species specialization where there's little competition (problems in life) and better chances of surviving (having good times)... until big natural disasters came along, plauges, infestations (change, growth)... and yea i dont think that made any sense... if it did... well... good for you... if it didnt... well.... good for you too
i worry too much... about things that dont concern me, what people think, about things that i shouldnt have to put up with but i do because ive led myself to the stupid things that i have, about my family and how things never seem at ease, about my friends... will they still be my friends in the future? if they will be... will they be good friends?... if not...why?, about finding a career i'll enjoy, about finding a person i can talk to. and with worry comes over thinking, and with over thinking comes confussion... and with confussion comes a shit load more worries.
im going to see him this weekend... its been a while but i think im slowly leaving it behind...
sleeping has become...well... difficult lately... ive always got something running through my head and half the time its something so frustrating that i cant help but just let go and cry my god and majority of the time its something so small, so minute, so horrifically insignificant that, when i look back, i dont see why i make such a big deal out of it. god...i feel like such a retard sometimes.
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